My dad died.

At 11.08am, I called my aunt back and found out that my father has died. She also somewhat fearfully told me not to hold the wake at her void deck. 

I was typing a handover email before I left the office. My dad passed away. I never liked the phrase. What does that mean? A person dies. My dad died. In the end I changed it back, to spare them the indecipherable starkness of whatever I was feeling. 

昨天看了一整晚韓劇，一直掉眼淚，一度的啜泣讓我感到荒謬。真可笑。知道後把一切壓下來，但大家看到這臃腫的雙眼都會以為是今早哭出來的。

戲看多了，書看多了，故事聽多了，用自己去體會太多別的人生就會開始懷疑自己。這個情緒，這個反應，是真實的嗎？那麼戲劇化，是假的嗎？

人體真奇妙。能一副鎮定，但腦袋會空白原來是真的。面無表情但全身會輕微發抖，也是真的。

航海人在海上走了，很浪漫吧？戲裏都是這樣演的。