I learned that the world is divided into the hoarders and the sharers, and into the perpetually slighted and the eternally grateful; that the diners who eat the least are the ones who pretend to eat the most; and that no manner of advance instruction can prevent guests from saying your real name and even referencing your last three reviews loudly, repeatedly and in direct earshot of the restaurant manager. There’s a reason most people don’t go into the spying business. They have no aptitude for it.

What a restaurant critic has learned about human behaviour from observing his guests. Highly entertaining read.

This, on the other hand, makes me sick.

How about learning to educate and discipline your kids instead? Taking responsibility, maybe?

Like this ice-cream vendor said:

“But moms have a choice.”

“We should be mature enough to tell our kids, ‘No.’ ”

Wanting the trucks to go away “is not a valid issue,” he said, adding, “It’s like a mother being angry at a store being at a particular corner.” Besides, the ice cream man isn’t forever.

“It’s summer,” he said, sighing. “It’s only four months."