Haven't gone cycling since I took on some freelance writing work a week ago. Today I went again and for a while, it all felt better.
I have four or five rolls of undeveloped film sitting around. They contain explorations of various places and day to day happenings that I noticed. I haven't been particularly anxious about getting them processed. I think it's because I wasn't excited when I took those 180 odd shots. There wasn't that streak of adrenaline leading the impulse to snap. I just took them anyway because I set out to do so, or because I thought it might make a good picture. It was all very rational. I suppose you could call it a lack of inspiration?
That was how I felt when I was at these playgrounds. Photos were taken for the sake of taking photos and it shows. Which is why it took me so long to post them.
Perhaps it's film fatigue. Or perhaps it's an inevitable thing in life that you lose the initial giddiness that makes the unknown so exciting.
I think I expect too much from that giddiness.
I have four or five rolls of undeveloped film sitting around. They contain explorations of various places and day to day happenings that I noticed. I haven't been particularly anxious about getting them processed. I think it's because I wasn't excited when I took those 180 odd shots. There wasn't that streak of adrenaline leading the impulse to snap. I just took them anyway because I set out to do so, or because I thought it might make a good picture. It was all very rational. I suppose you could call it a lack of inspiration?
That was how I felt when I was at these playgrounds. Photos were taken for the sake of taking photos and it shows. Which is why it took me so long to post them.
Perhaps it's film fatigue. Or perhaps it's an inevitable thing in life that you lose the initial giddiness that makes the unknown so exciting.
I think I expect too much from that giddiness.
最近一直在逃避
知道不對 不好
卻好像跳進了一個很深很窄的洞
不想爬出來
反而想請哪位路過的先生好心把泥土堆回洞里
我不會叫不會哭
只會乖乖的靠在泥牆
等著一切消失。
4 comments:
i salute you for being able to take rolls of film just like that, (snaps fingers). that's the impresso i get, uh i take a million years to finish a roll! i'm trying to do one roll a month. what keeps you going, i'm curious!
hmm. actually i've been wishing i can go slower, cos it's kinda expensive to keep up with, and it makes me feel thoughtless sometimes.
i'm not sure. i don't use my digi cam outside, which means everything i want to take is on film, that's one.
i carry at least one camera with me almost everyday. but i actually don't take that many daily shots, cos sometimes i'm not in the mood.
i run a lot of film when i go out with the intention to shoot. my personal photo outings, i guess. i'd visit places with the primary intention of shooting, rather than shoot to capture what i'm doing. so i might say to my friends, let's have a picnic cos i want to take picts of us having a picnic. that's a little abnormal, perhaps?
and my biggest problem is i like to take repeat shots. sometimes i take a step forward and the object looks different, and i feel compelled to take another shot. repeat that urge a few times and a lot of film is wasted. often i find myself with a lot of almost the same thing and i kinda hate myself for the wastage.
also, it bothers me when i know there's an unfinished roll of film sitting somewhere. just like how when there's a drink in front of me, i'll sip so frequently i finish mine quicker than other ppl. that's how i end up consuming a lot of liquids and visiting the loo a lot all the time.
lastly, i think i may take the "don't think just shoot" lomo mantra too seriously.
haha. i've never analysed my problem in such detail before.
so happy to come back here to see your reply, so in depth too!
completely agree with film being a little expensive to keep up with, and it's prolly the biggest reason why i take only one shot of anything. so get more variety on one roll of film. but! a lot of times that one shot doesn't come out or looks crappy and poof, heartache.
and interesting thought about that example of a picnic. i guess, since i go about taking my daily life... i get stuck so often, i almost lose the fervour to be snapping. so many days i take my camera out with me and come home without taking a single shot.
i'm beginning to embrace the idea of planned photoshoots... i just don't have friends who might want to be in it i think haha. have u done a picnic yet?
yeah i know. it's that "what if that shot doesn't turn out nice" mentality that leads me to waste so much film.
i do that a lot too, go out with tonnes of cameras and come back with nothing but aching shoulders from the heavy bag. it's only on those days i don't have a cam with me i see something i really want to capture. it has happened so often i suspect i wouldn't have noticed those same things if i actually had cams with me.
no, no picnic yet. think it'd be really cute but you know, it's so hard getting ppl together as you get older. but i have gone with friends on little outings to the pasir ris playground, little india and ubin.
planned shoots would be quite something. are you thinking of the conceptualised and shoot with a model kind of planned shoot, or go out with a bunch of ppl and start getting them to pose for you sort of thing?
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