Cornered

My head is all over the place. Help.

When I first came in, I did not like the fact that all the tables lined the wall. That means our backs are always exposed and what you are doing on your computer can always be seen. Barring the times you sit up so straight that you block the entire thing, or when you slouch so low that you can flip the laptop screen so low that nobody can see it unless they squat beside you. But of course, I can’t really be bothered to indulge in such suspicious behaviour. There is no real need anyway, not when your supervisors are forever on MSN and Facebook.

But I digress.

Walls, yes. So I got used to facing the wall. And it became this aid to my schizo nature. Facing the wall all day long (and I have a corner, which means nobody can see my face unless I choose to turn) allows me to shut everything and everyone off should I choose to. I can stew in my foul moods and my face can be as black as I wish. I can be anti-social and always hearing what other people are talking about, joining in only when I am bored or if I wish to.Because the truth is, people annoy the shit out of me.

Digress again.

So the good thing is, with a corner, I can be as myself as I can be. The bad thing? Sometimes people don’t know you’re positioned this way deliberately and they still talk to you. What’s worse, this is a office and people end up talking to you all the time anyway, sometimes about random things (which is not so bad) but often about work (which is blah). So I just have to take a deep irritated breath and sigh (sometimes inwardly, depending on how irritated I am and how far away the person is), plaster a fake smile on my face and spin around on my chair to go, “Yes?” in a sickeningly saccharine manner.

I don’t think I’m suited to this profession. If you want to do PR, you should like to talk to all people. I don’t. I can, sometimes, when I feel like it. But I don’t like to. I just want to walk off with a rude turn and get back to my bed to lie down and continue reading.