Square One

Last night, I started reading all these blogs that I stopped reading years ago. Written by people who are writing about their lives and thoughts and emotions. Stuff that I stopped reading when I got tired of reading about emotions, or having emotions.

Fast forward several years and I realise I'm always at a lost for words. I was never an expressive person but in writing, I could still spew out tonnes of nonsense. Sometimes good, mostly cringe-worthy but hey, at least I could form coherent sentences.

These days, I don't know. I've become lazy. Much lazier than when I had to write to earn a living. I don't like to go into details anymore.

Or maybe I've shut myself tighter in. Not only do I not want to share emotions, I don't want to reveal opinions. Is it fear I sense? Fear of appearing silly, because everyone else might not think the same way?

Honestly, I do not know. Maybe both.

But I'm back to reading. And I want to try to remember writing. Good or bad, you never get better if you don't keep doing it.

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Hanging around the office waiting for the client to let us know something so we can get on with the other thing. It kind of sucks cos I want to lie down and read my book.