Death and the high cost of living

Morpheus, the Lord of Dreams, and his sister, Death.
The Sandman, Neil Gaiman

On 31 Dec 2005, I wrote in the group blog a list of demands I had of my friends upon my death. It's too embarrassingly childish to re-post. I wanted a dinner party. I even specified what food I wanted, just in case I could be "present" and actually able to "eat".

Actually, while the tone was downright flippant, I was serious about the dinner party. It would be nice to think that even when you're no longer around, your friends can still be bothered to gather round a table to enjoy a good dinner and generally have a laugh about the times you had together. Reminisce about old times, you know.

Some may find this train of thought slightly morbid. I'm not expecting myself to keel over any time but the thing about death we all know is that you never know. So I suppose I find it comforting to know I have somewhat stated my piece.

The dinner party idea came into existence after I watched 求婚事務所 (Taiwanese drama), the exact segment within the two clips below. Their version of a gathering is actually a little too solemn and teary for my liking. But it being a tragic love story, the atmosphere is necessary.

After the show, I spent a little while listening to If on repeat mode. And since then, If has always been associated with death for me when previously, it was just a rather sweet song I don't particularly enjoy. When my grandfather passed away, I spent a while listening to If as well.

For my death dinner party soundtrack (I think it's important, silence might be too overwhelming on such occasions), I think the ktv kakis should have no real problem putting together a list of music. Note: the brother is not allowed to input any churchy crap music. Or play a beautiful movie in the background, perhaps?

I have a lot of stuff. I would like them to move on to people who love them and use them. To be worn, read, watched, listened to. But of course, not everyone is comfortable with using stuff belonging to a dead person. If you are, I'd like you to grab all that you want. The brother can implement this giving away. The immediate family (I feel the need to specify mum, dad, brother) has first dips to keep what they want for themselves, then comes the friends, followed by miscellaneous relatives and the like, and finally, the Salvation Army or whoever may need what is left.

I want to stress that I don't want large amounts of money to be wasted on my death. I'm not a big fan of obligatory ceremonies. I skipped graduation and I think big-scale Chinese wedding dinners are silly. Death is a thriving business. And I do rather believe ceremonial acts are more for the living, as a form of attaining closure. So do what is necessary for yourself but keep it minimal and don't hesitate to skimp because there are no obligations. I'd much rather money be spent on all the beautiful things in this world. Honestly, I'm not keen on that whole void deck business but I'm also not sure what the alternatives are. If possible, I'd like something simple and pretty. As non-religious as possible. If a religious aspect has to be incorporated, it will lean towards Taoism or Buddhism.

I think I'd like to be cremated. Even though I really dislike being hot. Still it's better than being underground and gnawed on by strange crawly things.

I'm not sure if it's necessary for my body to be on display to everyone. If it is, I want a nice outfit and no garish makeup please. I'd be dead and no amount of blusher will make me look radiant, so I'd rather not look ridiculous.

And I want my picture to be pretty and smiley, with non-poofy hair.